


Uh oh.

by drsquee



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Spideypool - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:07:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drsquee/pseuds/drsquee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spideypool quickie fic! </p><p>Annoying Deadpool is annoying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uh oh.

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Tiếng Việt available: [Uh oh](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4763537) by [MonBu](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonBu/pseuds/MonBu)



> The song Deadpool sings is Beat It Upright by Korn. Disclaimer: I do not have never me a profit from these characters or the songs, they belong to their respective owners.

“Hey! Hey Spidey! Baby boy!”  
Peter groaned underneath this mask, leaning against the brick wall for support.  
Deadpool. Again. Dammit all.  
As if the Devil himself had conjured him into existence, Deadpool leaned into Peter’s field of vision, the wide grin on his face evident even under his mask. “Whatcha doing Spidey?”  
Straightening, Peter folded his arms and gave the mouthy merc a once over. No splattered blood stains on his suit. No visible wear and tear. No overbearing smell of gunfire. Had Deadpool actually been behaving himself tonight?  
“I’m on patrol, which no doubt you’re aware of. Why else would I ‘happen’ to have run into you?” Peter answered curtly, making quotation marks with his fingers, Deadpool giggling childishly.  
“You got me! I was talking a brisk New York evening walk when I ‘happen’ to overhear the unmistakable sound of ‘thwip thwip thwip” he said brightly, mimicking Peter’s web slinging. “So I came a-running and here you are!”  
“Uh huh. Well my business is done here” he waved at the burglar, currently webbed to a wall unconscious and began to walk away. “So I’ll be taking my leave”.  
“What?! C’mon Spidey, I just got here!” Deadpool trotted after him, bouncing around him manically. “Let’s have some fun huh?! Paint the town red!”  
“I can only cringe at what your definition of ‘painting the town red’ means” Peter retorts, yelping when Deadpool slapped his ass. Hard. “Hey!”  
“Damn that’s a fine ass! Come and shake it with me! There’s a fancy new club in town! We could go there! Or someplace more…private…if you catch my meaning…and by that I mean go round the back of the club and get it on” Deadpool leered through his mask, backing Peter up against a wall, putting one hand on the wall behind him to lean over him, looking him up and down.  
Peter swallowed loudly. Ever since they had met, Deadpool had been….more than honest, with his thoughts and intentions towards Peter. And even though he’d never seen Peter’s face, nor learned his identity in all the time they’d spontaneously teamed up, it never seemed to deter him, rather spur him on.  
Laying his hands as gently as he could on Deadpool’s chest, he gently pushed the merc away from him, sliding away from the wall. “Uh thanks, but no thanks. I’m going to head home, take a shower and hit the hay. Big day tomorrow ya know? Heh”. He backed away, keeping his derriere out of Deadpool’s line of sight. “But hey! Next time maybe?!” As quick as a whip, he threw out a web and swung away, relief flowing over him as he whisked himself away from the confines of the alleyway and Deadpool. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, he saw Deadpool staring up at him, scratching his head thoughtfully and looked away, breathing a heavy sigh.  
Another bullet dodged. At least for now.  
\---- Peter grit his teeth as Deadpool continued to sing loud and out of key, the merc’s own gunfire not even drowning him out.  
As he dodged low to avoid an oncoming steel pipe, he swung out his leg to trip up the assailant before moving quickly to stand on his hands and deliver a kick to the guy’s stomach, sending him crashing into some nearby boxes.  
♪Are you ready for a good pounding baby? Are you ready to get it on? ♪  
♪Don’t pretend you’re not fucking freaky baby! I will spank that ass just for fun! ♪  
Snapping his web at another, Peter swung him into another of his thug friends, sighing as he watched Deadpool put a bullet through one guy’s leg before pistol whipping him on the back of the head.  
♪Ass! Up! High! Make a motherfuc! Ker! Cry! It’s so good that I! Could! Die! Help me stay alive! ♪  
♪The time is right! I wanna feel it good and tight! I’m down to do this all night! I’m gonna beat it upright! ♪  
Peter ran a hand over his face in exasperation, walking towards Deadpool, who had carried on singing and shooting randomly despite the fact the fight was over. Since their encounter a few days ago, Peter had ‘randomly’ bumped into Deadpool almost every night he had been on patrol, batting off his advances every way he knew how, becoming more and more frustrated with Deadpool’s insistency.  
“Deadpool! DEADPOOL! Stop it already!” he shouted, hitting him upside the back of the head, gaining the merc’s attention instantly. Deadpool sheepishly took his headphones out from under his mask, turning off his iPod. “Sorry about that Spidey! Got caught up in the moment!”  
Peter rubbed the bridge of his nose tiredly before sending a communication to S.H.I.E.L.D, informing them the job was done and to send a clean-up crew. He and Deadpool had been the closest (and only available) team, they had been recruited to hound out and if necessary, halt a drug ring that was supposedly being held in the bay area. Turns out the halting had been necessary.  
Grouping the unconscious men into a pile and webbing them together, Peter dusted his hands together, silently congratulating himself on another job well done before he turned to leave, only slamming headfirst into Deadpool’s concrete chest. “Ack! Deadpool!”  
“So were all done here huh? Awesome! Let’s go grab a few beers at your spider cave huh? Bet it’s nice and cosy” Deadpool said, throwing a meaty arm around Peter’s shoulders, walking them both towards the exit.  
“I told you before, I live in an apartment, I don’t have a spider cave” Peter replied deadpan, feeling Deadpool’s hand drifting lower and lower as they walked, trying to ignore it. As it touched his ass he yelped and knocked it away, turning to throw a filthy look at Deadpool. Which is extremely hard when your face is masked.  
Deadpool turned to face him, his hands nonchantly behind his head. “Is that a no?”  
“Ugh! Look!” Peter put a hand on his hip, rubbing his eyes with his other hand in exasperation. Seems like he was going to have to spell it out for him. “Deadpool I…I don’t know what you want…or think…is going to happen between us, but you need to know, I don’t think that way about you”. He shuffled awkwardly. “I mean…I’m flattered but this has got to stop! I can’t keep worry about the sanctity of my ass when we’re fighting bad guys!”  
Deadpool snorted. “Ass sanctity” He stopped when Peter glared at him. “What?”  
“God you are so frustrating! Were you even listening?!” Peter huffed, turning his back on Deadpool, who blinked then grinned, sliding his arms around Peter’s waist. “Awww you tense baby boy? Maybe I could help you relax…” he said huskily, sliding a hand to Peter’s crotch, squeezing softly.  
Cheeks red, Peter turned and pushed Deadpool angrily away from him, who blinked in surprise. “Dammit enough! No more! I DON’T like you Deadpool! I’m sick and tired of you! And nothing is ever going to happen between us! EVER!”  
Deadpool stared at him as Peter panted, slightly shocked by his own outburst. The two stared at each other before Deadpool shifted, looking away. “Ok….I hear ya. Sorry”. He turned and began to walk away, waving over his shoulder. “Later Spider-man”  
Peter flinched as he watched Deadpool walk away, biting his lip as he disappeared from sight before he shook his head, throwing out a web and swinging away towards the city as the S.H.I.E.L.D clean up team began to arrive.  
It’s for the best, he told himself as he struggled not to look back.  
\---- Dammit Deadpool!  
Was the thought that was going through Peter’s mind as he swung through the city, heading to what he was sure was Deadpool’s makeshift accommodations.  
It had been over a week now since Deadpool had left him at the docks, Peter having been made aware that S.H.I.E.L.D had been unable to contact him since and there had been no ‘accidental’ run in’s during his patrols. And although he knew Deadpool could usually disappear in the blink of an eye for weeks on end, something just didn’t feel right to Peter, prompting him to find his last known hideout and check it out.  
It wasn’t because he was worried. He was NOT worried. At all. Nope.  
Stop it.  
Landing on the roof of a derelict cornered off building, he crawled his way down the wall till he found an open window, ducking through it and looking at his surroundings.  
Yup this was Deadpool’s place alright. Take away boxes were piled in one corner of the room, a broken looking TV on milk crates stood in front of a tattered and torn sofa with an equally battered coffee table , but other than that, no other feature. Glancing into the next room, he spied a dirty mattress on the floor, a thin blanket and two pillows laying haphazardly on top of it.  
Peter sighed, lifting up his mask to reveal his mouth. “Thought the guy said he was rich? What’s he doing in a dump like this?” he muttered to himself, walking further into the room.  
“Trying to lay low from S.H.I.E.L.D and other bounty hunters is why” a voice replied and Peter jumped, looking up to see Deadpool hanging upside from the rafters above, his legs hooked over a beam. He cocked his head at Peter, who put a hand over his heart, trying to calm his breath. “Sup? Did I scare ya?”  
“YES! Dammit it all” he cursed, putting his hands on his hips as Deadpool climbed down, landing slightly ungracefully in front of him. “Where have you been?! You’re not answering S.H.I.E.L.D’s calls, and I haven’t seen you on patrol!”  
Deadpool raised an eyebrow as he folded his arms. “There’s been chatter around the city of other bounty hunters looking for me so I’ve stayed low. And I haven’t answered S.H.I.E.L.D because I don’t need them painting a huge bull’s-eye on my back thanks. Besides, what do you care? S’not like we’re buddies or anything anymore right?” He shrugged, turning his back on Peter, who flinched and rubbed his shoulder, looking away sheepishly.  
He shifted from one foot to the other as Deadpool unhooked his katana’s, laying them against the wall reverently before pulling out his guns and an assortment of knives from who knows where and laying them on the nearby coffee. “…S.H.I.E.L.D didn’t ask me to come ya know. I came myself”  
“Oh? Fascinating” Deadpool replied, keeping his back to Peter, who became more annoyed as Deadpool continued to ignore him, flopping onto the couch and sharpening his dagger. Peter watched him for a moment before fidgeting. “Tha…that stuff I said...”  
Deadpool paused, eyes not leaving his knife. “Mm?”  
“…You’re…you’re not…ALL bad…” Peter shifted uncomfortably, looking away. “I…I didn’t mean to…be so harsh with you…” He scratched the back of his neck. “Just…get in touch with S.H.I.E.L.D ok? Let them know everything’s fine.  
Deadpool stood, walking over to Peter and leaning in close, gazing down at him quietly, Peter flinching, leaning back slightly. “w…wha?”  
“You said you don’t like me that you were sick and tired of me, yet here you are…” he held up a finger to silence Peter, who stopped his retort. “Here’s the thing Spidey…I’m not one for beating around the bush so here’s the deal….kiss me”  
Peter’s cheeks heated up beneath his mask, his eyes widening in surprise. “Wha…what?!”  
“Kiss me…just once. If you don’t like it, then we’ll part ways and I’ll never bother you again…but if you like it…” Peter couldn’t see it but he could imagine the toothy grin on Deadpool’s face as he trailed off and he glared up at him, the two going into a stalemate before finally Peter growled, looking away. “Fine! Fine if that’s what it takes to make you feel better and come back to S.H.I.E.L.D then fine! One kiss!”  
Deadpool wooed in triumph, punching a fist in the air before pulling up his mask, revealing a cheesy grin, Peter’s face heating up more. “Close your eyes” he ordered, Deadpool instantly answering back. “They are!”  
“Liar” Peter growled, shakingly putting his hands on Deadpool’s chest, leaning up on his tiptoes to reach up, even though Deadpool was already tilting his head downward. He leaned in and planted a quick, chaste kiss on Deadpool’s lips, quickly backing up as Deadpool blinked down at him, his whole face now bright red.  
“There! I kissed you! One time! We’re done, let’s go!” he said quickly, moving to walk back to the window when Deadpool grabbed his wrist, pulling him back into a tight embrace. “If you think I’m letting you get away with that you’re sadly mistaken baby boy”, and with that he lifted Peter up onto his tiptoes and planted a searing kiss on Peter’s lips.  
Peter flailed for a moment, gripping tightly onto Deadpool’s costume as their lips met, sucking in a breath through his nose sharply. Deadpool moved his mouth to capture more of Peter’s, deepening their kiss, running his tongue teasingly against Peter’s lip before breaking the kiss, grinning devilishly down at Peter panted against his lips. “Better? I thought so”  
“I…I ah…uhhh” Peter whimpered, staring up at Deadpool, his brain full of white noise. “…..oh bugger”  
Deadpool chuckled, placing him back on his feet. “So what’s the deal Spidey? We good?”  
Peter continued to stare up at him, feeling breathless, Deadpool beginning to feel worried. “Spidey? Helloooo?” He waved a hand in front of Peter’s face. “Uh oh! I broke Spider-man!”.  
“Peter”.  
Deadpool blinked at him. “What?”  
“My name…its..Peter” he said nervously, still gripping tightly onto Deadpool’s costume. Deadpool stared down at him for a moment before he grinned widely, giggling slightly. “Wade”  
Finally kicking his brain into gear Peter let go of him, wringing his hands slightly. “O…Ok Wade…I…I see your point” he said, patting Deadpool on the shoulder, more to reassure himself then Deadpool. “That…that was….yeah” he fidgeted, wanting to stay close but needing the space at the same time, eventually pulling away to walk to the window. “I should ahh...I need to umm….report in yeah…let S.H.I.E.L.D know what the deal is…um…don’t go anywhere ok?” and with that he disappeared out the window, glancing back momentarily as if to make sure Deadpool was still there before leaving, a highly amused Deadpool to chuckling to himself.  
“I fucking knew it” he murmured, moving to sit on the couch, putting his legs up on the table as he awaited Peter’s return, a triumphant grin on his face.  
“I should’ve just done this earlier!”

\----


End file.
